How to build your support system
Part 3 of 10: The 'Becoming a Dad' Series
This is part three of a ten-part series, Becoming a Dad.
Whether you’re an expecting dad, a new dad or a dad about to do it all again with your second or third baby, this series will help you to be confident and connected with your baby from day one.
Note that this series assumes you’re a new dad. Of course, that won’t be the case for a huge percentage of you, but please take the time to read it and share it with anyone you think might benefit from it.
Part three
I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “it takes a village to raise a child”, however, in the modern world for the majority of people, that village is no more. People move away for work, the world is much smaller given how easy it is to travel, so families become much more distant, and the cost of living is much higher so often both parents need to work, leaving little time to build that village. Modern-day parenting can be challenging, especially with limited or no support.
Therefore, working hard to create a support network is more important than ever. Seeking support from other dads is crucial for navigating fatherhood with confidence and connection, so if you’re struggling with this, here are five effective ways you can build a support system:
Parenting Groups and Forums:
Following and engaging with social media accounts like The Dad Vibes is a great place to start. Often there are local Facebook groups for dads, which are much more personal and allow you to connect with other dads local to your area. And if there isn’t one, I’d urge you to think about creating one, you’d be surprised how many dads will join. You then have apps like Reddit which have sections for dads specifically, and even dads who are interested in certain topics. But it’s all about being proactive and engaging and contributing to the groups, the support network won’t find you, you need to create it.
Parenting Classes and Workshops:
If you’re an expecting dad, consider enrolling in classes that prepare parents for childbirth and the early stages of parenting. Many of these classes are open to both parents and provide a space to meet other dads. I’m often surprised at the lack of dads in these classes, but they provide you with a great opportunity to mentally prepare for the arrival of your little one, whilst connecting with other dads and parents in the same position as you.
Parenting Activities:
Proactively attend family-oriented events and activities with your partner, such as playgroups, parties, story times, soft play, etc…. These activities are opportunities to meet other dads and families and probably the single biggest thing that helped me as a new dad. I did my best to attend everything I could with my wife, which allowed me to connect with the partners of my wife’s “mum friends”.
Leverage Workplace Support:
Take advantage of paternity leave policies to spend quality time with your newborn and bond with other dads who might also be on leave. Some workplaces have employee resource groups (ERGs) for parents. If paternity leave is limited or non-existent, I’d urge you to plan, are there any other ways you could carve out another few days or weeks at home? Annual leave? Working overtime beforehand? Putting some money aside and taking a little unpaid time?
If you’re struggling, feel free to DM me on Instagram.
There are so many spaces online where you can start to build your support system, so focus on a system that works for you.
Next week, in part four, I dive into a topic that all new parents find challenging: sleep and navigating nighttime. Specifically, next week is focused on understanding infant sleep patterns.
If you want to dive deeper and feel confident and connected as a dad from day one, you can join my Becoming Dad Academy, click the button below to gain instant access…
I appreciate you reading this post,
Tom Piccirilli, Founder of The Dad Vibes